My Messed up Life Take two
by mizz.france
Summary: Brain plasticity is what shapes our brain to act the way we do. I wasn't always a bitter person. I once was a happy little naive girl thinking the world consisted of rainbows and sunshine. OOC\ AH.
1. Chapter 1

**Beta: Manhattans Sowrite**

**Pre-reader: angmclure**

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><p>Brain plasticity is what shapes our brain to act the way we do. I wasn't always a bitter person. I once was a happy little naive girl thinking the world consisted of rainbows and sunshine. One bad choice, that's all it took to flip my world as I knew it forever.<p>

I looked at the rain pelting my window and sighed. I've been living in Forks with my father for the past couple of years; before that it was Arizona with my mother. Everyone used to ask me why I would live here instead of back home. Everything was different between the two places. Where Arizona had the sun, Forks had the rain. Arizona's a large open desert, Forks was a small town surrounded by trees. Forks held my father, but Arizona held my heart.

It will always hold my heart. Why? He's down there.

Unfortunately for many months, I have not visited my mother. With the school year almost over and graduation up ahead, I couldn't help but have an extra bounce in my step. My life was already planned out. Once I graduate, I plan to go to either Yale or Dartmouth. I would have to get a two bedroom apartment, but that's the least of my worries. As long as I get my heart back, that's all that matters.

After rummaging through my closet, I finally decide on today's outfit. Once the black skinny jeans and Korn t-shirt were on, I went to the bathroom to do my morning routine. With my teeth brushed and my hair in a messy bun, I grabbed my sex bracelets and put on some nude lip gloss. I wasn't popular at Forks high since most people feared me and my friends. We were in a gang. I know it seems ridiculous since the Forks population was 2,100, but one would be surprised how many drugs can be pushed here.

The only people who cause us trouble are the boys in La Push. They started their gang around the same time we did and had more land to grow pot without the police getting involved. One of the bonuses to being on a reservation, I suppose. This lead us to start pushing the harder stuff like cocaine and meth. I knew that once I was out of Forks, I would leave the gang. It was just easy money for me at the moment. I've tried to get a job like everyone else, but there was nothing available. I needed money.

I have two best friends, Alice Cullen and Rosalie Hale.

Alice stands at 4'10" on a good day, but don't let the height fool you. She throws one of the best right hooks I've ever seen. She has green eyes and a killer black hairdo. The short spiky hair suits her well, not many people could pull it off. She has a very bubbly personality. There are only a few things I can't stand about her, the first being she is a morning other would be that she's a shopaholic, and I hate shopping.

Rose is the complete opposite of Alice. She's tall at 5'9" and she has a set of legs that goes on for miles. Her hair is blonde, and she has piercing blue eyes. Her curves put mine and Alice's to shame, they were all in the right places. Where Alice's personality is bubbly, Rose is cold and distant. Emmett McCarty is Rose's boyfriend. Some think he takes steroids since he is ridiculously huge, Arnold's 'the beach is that way' huge. He has short brown hair and gray eyes. He's also the leader of our gang since everyone is scared of him. What few people know is that he's harmless.

Jasper Hale is Rose's twin. He's 6'1" with shaggy blonde hair and the same eyes as Rose. His personality is mellow, and he likes to keep to himself. Alice is his better half and likes to know everything about anything, so they even each other out.

As for me, I'm a plain Jane. I stand at 5'3" with brown eyes and dark brown shoulder-length hair. I'm skinny and was a late bloomer, so one could say I'm still 'growing' into a shape.

Edward would be the last person from our gang. He's 6'2" with brownish, red hair that sticks out in every direction. He has the oddest shade of green eyes I've even seen. They were almost too green, if one would believe it. He knows the affect he has on woman and takes full advantage of it. We rarely see eye-to-eye, so I avoid him as much as I can.

_In the night, I hear him talk , the coldest story ever told . Somewhere far along this road, he lost his soul to a woman so heartless._

Leave it up to Alice to pull me out of my daydream.

"Hi, Pixie Bitch."

"Hey B, I'll be there in about ten," she chirped.

"Okay, I'll be outside."

I hung up my phone and sighed. Time for school. I walked downstairs, grabbed myself a muffin and my backpack then made my way outside.

Once outside, I noticed it stopped raining. This was good since I completely forgot to grab my jacket. My eyes flickered to the back of the house where Big Red was parked. My truck finally decided to take its last run a couple weeks ago, so that's why I was carpooling with Alice now. Her yellow Porsche turned in my driveway just then, and I gave the truck one last lingering look.

"Good morning sunshine," Alice said in her bubbly voice.

"Yea, hi," I said not so cheerfully.

"Jeez Bella, way to kill my mood."

I smiled at her comment. "You know how I do."

She stuck her tongue out at me, and we both laughed.

All too soon, the familiar landscape of Forks High came into view. Alice parked in her usual spot, next to Edward's Volvo. We walked up to where the gang hung out, and Alice gave Jasper a peck before standing beside him. Rose and Emmett were in a heated discussion, and Edward was playing tonsil hockey with one of his conquests.

Em spotted me and his whole face lit up, dimples and all. He walked up to me and enveloped me in one of his bone-crushing hugs.

"Morning, Sis."

"Can't breath," I said between gasps.

"Sorry, squirt," he said, ruffling my hair.

I walked up to Jasper and Rose, giving them a fist bump. I wasn't one for hugs normally, but you just couldn't say no to Em or Alice. I glanced at Edward and noticed his tongue was still down the girl's throat. We gave him a couple more minutes, and he still wasn't letting go of the girl. I cleared my throat, and he cocked an eyebrow at me, sending Lauren off.

"Was that really necessary? Can't you see I was rather enjoying myself?"

I tried hard to not roll my eyes, but failed miserably. "Maybe you should be thanking me Cullen. Everyone knows Lauren has been around town and then some." I cleared my throat. "Anyways, we have to go over tonight's plans."

We were doing a B&E tonight; this time our target was Newton's Outfitters. Mike Newton never got his karma for slipping a pill in my drink last year, so I figured it was time to get him back. I shuddered at the thought of what almost happened, even then he couldn't get in my pants. That was all thanks to Emmett. He found us when Mike was trying to undo my pants. I have no idea what he did to him, but the next time I saw him, he had some nice bruises on his face and had trouble walking.

"Bella, we've been through this five times already," Rose said, clearly annoyed.

"I know.."

_Now I see the times they change, leaving doesn't seem so strange, I am hoping I can find, Where to leave my hurt behind._

I looked at my phone confused as to why my mother was calling me this early in the morning.

"Be right back guys, I need to take this."

Everyone shook their heads, and Edward started to protest. I flipped him the bird and walked off. Once I was a safe distance away from anyone, I took a deep breath and answered.

"Hey, Mom. Why you calling so early? Is he okay?"

"Yes, honey. Damien's fine. I just wanted to let you know that you got a letter in the mail. It's from the courts."

I groaned, that meant it had to do with James.

"What did it say?"

"He wants to be released on parole, and you have court next Tuesday here in Arizona. He's also trying to get visitation rights for Damien."

"Over my dead fucking body!" I barked. Em and Alice were looking at me confused, they knew that ringtone was for my mother. This is going to cause questions I can't answer.

"Bella, don't swear. It's not ladylike. Anyways, you're going to have to come here this weekend instead of the next one. You're also going to have to miss some school. I'll call your dad and let him know what's going on after I put Damien down for a nap. I'm sorry Bella, it's not fair that you have to go through this," my mom sobbed, as she was clearly crying at this point.

"Mom it's okay, the worst is done now. As long as no one is in danger, I'm not worried about it. I have to go to class. I'll call you after school, I promise. Love you. Bye."

"Love you too," my mother cooed.

I heard the faint voice of my angel in the background. "Love you, mama."

"Tell Damien I love him and miss him, and that I'll see him this weekend."

Alice started to walk towards me.

"Bye mom," I hung up.

"Why were you yelling at your mom?" Alice said, cocking an eyebrow.

"Oh nothing, I have to go down there this weekend. Family emergency," I said air-quoting the last part.

We started walking back to the group when Alice froze. "Wait, that means you won't be at my party this weekend!"

Oh yeah, fuck! It's Alice's and Edward's birthday this weekend.

"Fuck, I'm sorry Al. I really have to go. You know I wouldn't purposely miss your birthday."

She hugged me saying that she understood, but she was still hurt. What the hell am I going to do with myself? I don't want to see James again, not after what he did to me four years ago.

James is the father of my son Damien. Damien is three years old. That's why I'm in Forks. James raped me, took my virginity, and I got pregnant. He found out that I was pregnant after I had Damien. He came after me one night when I went to the store to get more formula. I'll never forget that night.

I_ was walking to the store to get Damien some formula as Mom watched him. Once I paid, I started to walk back to the house. I decided to cut through an alley since I wanted to get back to Damien quickly. Looking behind me I noticed It was a bad mistake. There he was. There was James._

_"Well, well, well, what do we have here? Isabella, you've been a bad little girl. Did you honestly think you could hide my own flesh and blood from me?" he asked with a smirk. I was frozen in place. I didn't know what to do. I was 14, and only a child._

_"What...what do you want James?" I asked, so scared I almost peed myself. I hope he doesn't rape me again._

_He chuckled and whipped out a knife. As soon as I spotted the knife, I screamed and attempted to run. I suddenly felt a hand go over my mouth and a stringing feeling in my back. I started feeling dizzy as James let go of me. I fell to the ground unable to move. Then he left. James left me for dead._

_He was 18 at the time. He also wasn't very smart. Once he was gone for about five minutes, I tried to get up. I couldn't, and the pain in my back was excruciating. I reached in my pocket for my cell phone and called my mom. After hearing her freak for a couple minutes, she called the cops. Just when I thought everything would be okay, James came back. I guess he knew I wasn't dead. One could always hope though, right?_

_"Hello again, Isabella. Now, why don't we pick up where we left off?"_

_I screamed. I knew he was going to rape me again. My worst fears where happening. Then, I heard the police sirens. I prayed that they would reach me in time._

"What the fuck, Swan?" Startled, my hand instinctively went out and connected with the persons face.

"God damn, mother fucking bitch! I think you broke my nose," Edward barked.

What do you want me to do? I was lost in thought.

"Shit, Cullen. Oops," I said with a smile on my face.

"Why the hell did you punch me?"

"I was in a daze, you retard. You should know not to startle someone out of them," I said, rolling my eyes.

Emmett boomed out in laughter, and everyone else soon joined in. Everyone except Alice; she looked at me with a worried expression. Shit, that pixie does not miss a thing. How am I going to lie myself out of this one? No one here knew about James or Damien. It would just complicate things.

"Well, I hope you're happy," Edward said, his voice leaking with venom. I giggled.

"I am. You have no idea how long I've waited to do that."

He looked at me, shocked. "What the hell did I ever do to you?" he shouted. Here we go with another screaming match.

"What did you do to me? Cullen, you have to be the dumbest person I've ever met. Don't think I don't hear the shit you say about me to your little sluts."

Edward Muthafucking Cullen just stiffened.

Bella 1, Edward 0.

"Whatever," and he stormed off. Emmett came and gave me a high five.

"Bella, you're my hero. You're the only one that puts him in his place."

"Yeah, that's because he's into her," Rose said.

I snorted, and she turned around with one eyebrow arched.

"Bella, you clearly don't see yourself for what you are. You have Edward wrapped around your little finger. The boy is crazy about you. Why do you think he was mad when Alice told him you weren't going to be at the party?"

My face was blank. Is that why he was upset? I shook my head. It didn't make sense; it had to be something more. The Edward I know would be ecstatic that I wasn't coming. We were like fire and ice - we don't mix.

"Whatever, Rose. Let's go to class because I don't want to be late and have another detention."

Alice pulled me aside. "Bella, I know something is wrong. I'm not stupid! You better tell me after school or I'm going to be mad," she whispered yelled before heading in the direction of her class.

Oh boy, tonight's going to be an interesting night.

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><p><strong>Next update in a week.<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Beta: Manhattans Sowrite**

**Pre-reader: angmclure**

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><p>I was on my way to my locker when I caught site of a blonde mop, and I groaned when I notice it was Newton. He was perched by my locker, leaving me no escape route since my lunch money was inside. He lifted his head and a huge grin spread across his face when he noticed me looking at him. I don't know what expression was on my face, but it seemed to give him the confidence to walk my way. I contemplated jumping out the window that was to my left, it was opened and we were only two stories up.<p>

The fall couldn't hurt that bad, right?

"Hi, Bella. You look lovely as always," he said while wiggling his eyebrows.

"What do you want, Newton?" I asked, rather annoyed.

He looked around before answering. "I was wondering if you could, you know, get some stuff?"

My ears perked up; this was about drugs.

"You're going to have to be more specific with me, Newton." I crossed my arms together and tapped my foot impatiently since I was getting really hungry.

"Oh... erm... I need a gram of weed."

I narrowed my eyes at him. He came to me for a gram of weed? Who the hell did he think he was? Ten dollars was not worth my time. I was about to tell him off when an idea stuck me.

I checked my pockets.

"Oh, no! I seem to be out. Maybe you should go talk to Cullen? He always has some on him," I said in the sweetest voice I could muster.

I smiled while watching him walk away, making my own way to my locker.

Selling drugs has its ups and downs like everything else. The perks included easy money. The downfall would be dealing with idiots like Newton from time-to-time. It's people like him that make us easy targets for the cops.

When the crew first got into the drug scene, I wanted nothing to do with it. Once I saw how much money they were making, that was a different story. I gave it a test run by giving into my curiosity and never looked back. The more money I make, the more things I could get for my little angel. I made sure to stick to weed and some of the pills. No selling hard drugs for me.

Once I was in the lunch line, I let out a sigh. Did everyone magically want to eat cafeteria food today? I cursed Mike for making me wait for my food. If I arrived five minutes ago, I can almost guarantee I would be one of the first in line. I turned around and spotted someone bouncing in place. One my eyes locked with Alice, she steadied her rhythm and walked up to me. I pinched the bridge of my nose while thinking of this morning's conversation.

"Bella, you don't need to wait in line. I already got your lunch," she coaxed. I looked up at her and nodded. We started to walk to our table when she pulled me back. She looked determined about something, and I had a feeling I knew what that something was.

"What the heck was up this morning? You never keep secrets from me. Why are you starting now?" she questioned with a pout.

"Fine, Alice. After we're done at Newton's, why don't you crash at my place?" I looked her in the eyes. "You have to promise me right now that you won't hate me. You'll have to see it from my point of view. This is serious Al, I can't fuck this up."

"Okay, Bella. Thanks for trusting me." She put her arm around me, or attempted to, which made me laugh.

My eyes caught sight of Cullen, and I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing. Newton was with him, and Edward took a step back looking at him like he grew a second head. Mike's demeanor went from calm to alert, he shot his hands out in defense. Edward took a step towards him when Mike pointed in my direction. Edward's head snapped our way, and his eyes locked with mine. I should have known that Mike would tell on me. From Edward's hard gaze, I'm sure I will be hearing from him soon.

"What time do you want to meet up tonight?" Jasper asked once we were at the table. Alice gave him a kiss on the cheek and sat on his lap.

"How about we meet at the skate park around seven?" I looked at Em. "Make sure to have all the stuff."

Emmett gave me a salute. "Sir, yes sir."

I rolled my eyes, and he earned himself yet another slap at the back of the head from Rosalie.

"Could you take this a little more seriously?" Rose asked.

"C'mon babe, you know I take this seriously," he said pouting. She just rolled her eyes and smiled at him.

"Swan, must you do everything in your power to piss me off?" I turned around and Edwards expression made me chuckle.

"What ever do you mean, Eddie?" I asked, batting my eyes at him.

He pinched the bridge of his nose. "First of all, don't call me Eddie. Second, don't ever send a fucking idiot like Newton to me again for a gino. It's interacting with people like him that will get us busted."

I turned back around and focused on my lunch. I never thought pizza would look so good, but then again, I am starving. Edward sat beside me, turning my chair so I could face him. Why must he pester me 24\7?

"I wasn't done talking to you, Swan," he said in a husky voice, making goose bumps on my arms.

"Cullen, can you just leave me the fuck alone? I swear to God, sometimes it seems you fight with me just to get my attention. I'm flattered that you care about me so much. How about you back off? I'm not in the mood," I snapped, not liking the reaction I had to him at all.

He laughed and tiled his head forward, whispering in my ear. "I think it's the other way around."

I snorted. "Yeah right, I'd rather have Newton than you."

Emmett boomed out in laughter, fist bumping me.

_Now I see the times they change, leaving doesn't seem so strange, I am hoping I can find, Where to leave my hurt behind._

Twice in one day, that's never a good thing.

"Sorry guys, I have to take this." I got up at the same time Alice did, but I put my hand up indicating for her to stay. She pouted and sat back down.

I answered my phone once I knew I was away from prying ears. "Hi, mom. I thought I was calling you tonight?"

"Sorry, Hun. I forgot I had dinner plans with Phil. I know you're on your lunch, do you mind if we talk now? I don't want to wait until tomorrow."

I laid down on the familiar grass on the football field. No one came back here during school hours. "It's okay."

"Thank you, I'm sorry about the dinner plans. I would have canceled, but we made the reservations a month ago."

"Don't worry about it, but who's going to take care of Damien?"

"The neighbor said she would, you know those two are thick as thieves." A wave of jealousy hit me. "Now, about this weekend, I talked to your dad and everything is planned. Your plane leaves Port Angele's at six in the afternoon on Friday. I'm going to be at the airport waiting for you at nine. Hun, have you talked to any of your friends about Damien yet?"

I let out a sigh. She knew I never told anyone down here about Damien and especially James. She worries about me, she thinks I need counseling. I let her know on more than one occasion that my self-defense classes were my therapy. I guess I should tell her that I'm going to fill Alice in on it tonight. "No, Mom. No one knows anything. I don't want people at school to pity me. Alice figured something was going on with the phone call this morning. So, I'm going to explain it to her tonight."

"That's good, you always put a shield up and never let anyone in. It's not healthy. You need to express your feelings, or one day your just going to blow up." I rolled my eyes.

"Mom, I'm not as fragile as you think I am. I have you and dad to talk about my problems, that's enough for me," I mumbled.

Alice walked out of the school doors, she looked around and found me. How the hell did that pixie know I was here? Sometimes its like she's psychic, and it's creepy.

"Hun-"

"Mom, I have to go. My lunch hour is almost over. I love you, and tell Damien I said I love him, too," I whispered so Alice wouldn't hear me and hung up.

Alice took a seat beside me on the field. "Okay, Bella. I know you told me to wait until tonight, but I can't." I looked at her; she pouted again. Damn that pixie to Hell.

"Fine. Can we cut school? This is going to take a while," I said, defeated.

She was beaming by the time I threw my backpack on my shoulder. We walked back to the parking lot and drove off in her yellow Porsche.

"I had a feeling you were going to ask to cut school." There she goes being all psychic and shit.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"I was thinking of going back to your house since Charlie's working." I nodded.

The ride back to my house was quiet. Once we were there, we went in my room and sat on my bed. "Okay, spill."

I let out a deep breath. "Alice, you have to promise me even if you hate me after this, you won't tell a soul." She nodded, crossing her heart.

"Erm...well...the reason why my mom is calling is because I have to go back to Phoenix for court. And, well...to go see my son." I looked to see Alice's reaction. She blinked at me a couple times before going in a fit of giggles.

I, for one, did not think this was funny.

"Oh my God, Bella! You almost had me there," she cleared her throat. "Now, tell me why you're really upset."

I looked at her, and I was more than pissed off by this point. This is one of the reasons why I never bothered telling anyone when I knew they wouldn't believe me.

"This is why I never told you. Can you be serious for five minutes of your life." I snapped.

Her face paled with every word I spoke.

"No way," she whispered.

I let out a frustrated grunt and took my Blackberry out, dialing my mother's number. Once the phone started ringing, I put it on speakerphone. "Bella? Aren't you suppose to be in class? Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, Mom. Everything is fine. I decided I needed the afternoon away from school. Alice and I are back at my place, and I told her the reason why I'm going down there. Could you please pass the phone to Damien?"

"Okay, Hun. Did you tell her about James?"

Fuck. I was trying to avoid that topic. Alice looked even more pale now, if that was even possible.

"Who's James?" she asked, narrowing her eyes at me.

"I guess you haven't. Sorry, Bella. You should have told me I was on speaker phone. I'll be right back, I'm going to get the little guy."

I looked at Alice. "I'll explain after," I mouthed.

"Mama! Mama!"

"Hey Hun, how's your day going?" I answered, beaming.

" Good, guess wut?"

"What?" I asked exited.

"I got a gold staw in daycare for drawin in the lines!"

"Wow, that's awesome! Mama's so proud of you! Did Nana tell you I'm coming to see you this weekend?"

" Weally? I can't wait to see you!"

"I can't wait to see you, too. You have no idea how much I miss you." My voice cracked at the end.

"Miss you mama, wove you."

"I love you too Damien, more then words can say."

"Bye Mama, wove you."

"Bye, love you, too."

I chanced a look at Alice and noticed the tears streaming down her face. I walked over to the bed and tackled her in a hug. I wasn't one for tears.

"Oh my God, Bella! I'm so sorry I didn't believe you. Why didn't you tell me? I thought you were a virgin," she asked, confused.

"Okay...when I was 14, I was raped by a 17-year-old named James. I'm sure you can piece the rest together?" I asked, arching a brow at her.

She nodded, horror stuck. She opened her mouth to say something before I put my hand up to cut her off.

"There's more?" She put her hand over her face.

I launched in the story about what happened at the store that one day I went to get formula.

"I'm going to kill him. You know that, right?"

I rolled my eyes at her. If only it were that easy to get away with murder. I would of done it by now.

"No one can touch him, Al. It would look bad on me and I'm sure he's waiting for me to make a mistake. I worked too damn hard to be where I am right now. I can't have anyone jeopardizing Damien. Do you understand?"

"Bella, you have to tell the others. How can you sit here and tell me this without crying?" she asked, her eyes softening.

"I promised myself two years ago I wouldn't shed another tear for James. I refuse to give him the satisfaction that he still has an effect on my life. And no, we can't tell the others. You know how Emmett is, he'll put himself in jail just to beat him up."

Oh, God. I shouldn't have told her; she's going to slip. They're all going to know and treat me different. Fuck.

She seemed deep in thought. "You're right, Bella. All three boys would go to jail. They would make it their life-long goal to hurt him." She looked at me. "I promise I won't tell a soul. Thank you for trusting me with this." She bumped her shoulder with mine. "You know I love you, right?"

Here we go with the mushy stuff. Sometimes I hate the female chromosome.

"Yeah, yeah. Love you too, Pixie Bitch."

I turned around to look at the clock, and it was already 6:30. Fuck, we're going to be late.

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><p><strong>I'm on facebook mizzfrance fanfiction<strong>

**Gino = gram  
><strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**This chapter isn't beta'ed, so bare with me!**

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><p>They were going to kill us.<p>

I'm the one who initiated this break and enter and now I'm late.

"Get your stuff ready, Ali. Its already six thirty." I said, glancing back at the clock.

Looking back at my bed I expected a hectic Alice. She knew how much I wanted to do this, but she just sat there, blinking at me.

I threw my hands up in the air. Why wasn't she moving?

"Get your skinny butt back on this bed. We can do the Newton thing tomorrow, I want more details." she chirped.

My brows furrowed. "No, we need to go now. You know how pissed they're going to be, and I'm not dealing with that."

"I'll call Edward and let him know what's going on. He's probably already at the skate park with the others."

"Al, we can't. This was-"

"Sit on the bed and chill. Now." She said, narrowing her eyes at me.

I nodded, knowing there was no arguing with her by this point. She took out her phone and dialed his number. I bit my lip, he's going to be livid.

"Hey, Edward."

She started pacing my room.

"Okay, here's the deal. Me and Bella aren't going tonight." She pulled the phone away from her ear, her face dropping a moment later. " You know what? Go fuck yourself, you don't even know what's going on!" She rolled her eyes. " No you may not talk to her. I know you, you're only going to bitch, and I'm telling you right now deal with it. We aren't going."

She looked back at her phone than me. " He hung up on me."

I couldn't help but giggle. What did she expect with the way she was talking to him?

_But you'd have to walk a thousand miles ,in my shoes, just to see what its like to be me , ill be you lets trade shoes_

I pressed ignore. I didn't feel like fighting with Edward right now.

"So..." I tailed off, not knowing what to say.

Alice looked at me and smiled. "What does Damien look like? Do you have a picture?"

_But you'd have to walk a thousand miles, in my shoes, just to see what its like to be me, ill be you lets trade shoes_

I groaned. "He's not going to stop is he?"

Alice shook her head.

I flipped my phone open.

"What do you want, Edward?"

"Why is my sister calling me to tell me you guys can't make it?"

"Sorry... Things came up ... "

"Things came up? I'm sure whatever it is can wait till after Newton's."

" No, it cant. I apologize that this was last minute but I really have to go."

"This was your idea, and now you're not coming? I canceled on-"

I hung up, I didn't want to deal with his attitude right now. I turned my phone off too in case he decided to call again.

"Can I see a picture? Pretty please." she said pouting.

I smiled at her and walked over to my dresser. I rummaged through my clothes until I found it.

I let my fingers trace the picture, biting my lip. My chest tightened as I looked over it, I missed my little prince. This picture was taken about three months ago, it was the last time I saw my little angel. We were at the beach and you could see how content I was. The sun was shining, Damien was building a sand castle, covered in sand. I was standing behind him with a smile playing on my lips.

I frowned looking over my boys baby blues. His hair was dark brown and starting to shag, I wondered if he'd have to flip it to keep it out of his eyes by now. I bit my lip harder and tried to blink back the tears. I was missing so much of his life, sitting here in Forks. Heck, my little monster was already three and a half feet tall.

I hate James for what he did to me. Because of him I had missed so many mild stones in Damien's life. Because of him I had to move back to Forks, the court had insisted on it. Staying in Phoenix would lead me in a depression they said. I rolled my eyes, they didn't give me enough credit. I was stronger than that.

Alice snapping her fingers in my face brought me back to reality.

"Shit, sorry. Here." I said, passing her the picture.

"He's perfect." She said in awe.

I smiled. "Yes, he most definitely is."

Her nose crunched up, she looked confused. "Are you...?" She looked up at me. "Isabella Marie Swan, you're wearing a sun dress!"

I chuckled. "Yes, Alice. I'm wearing a sun dress."

"Hmm, there's hope yet." She mumbled. I decided to ignore it.

I lied down on my bed, giving her time to look over the photo. Knowing her it would take a good ten minutes to give it back.

"He has your lips and hair. Also, he has your eye shape, but not the color."

I nodded even though she couldn't see do it.

"You know what, Bella?" She said, turning around to look at me with a mischievous smile.

I did not like the way this conversation was going.

"I think I'm going to have to go to Arizona with you this weekend." She locked eyes with me. " You know, to meet Damien."

Oh hell no! The last thing I needed was for my mother to see how crazy my friends are.

"I think not."

She looked kind of hurt. "Why not? Don't you want me to meet him?"

Damn, she's good.

"It's not that, and you know it."

"What is it then?"

"My mom-"

"Are you embarrassed of me?" She cut me off.

I put my head in the pillow and let out a frustrated cry. I heard her squeal and she knew she had won.

"Thank You! I need to go home and get things ready. Four days is not enough time."

I looked up in time to see her bounce off my bed, only to stop at the door.

"Wait." She said and turned. "Does my dad know about this?"

I pursed my lips. There was no hiding anything from her anymore.

"Yes, Carlise knew."

"Why-"

"Doctor patient confidentiality, Alice."

That shut her trap.

We heard a door slam downstairs, Charlie was home. I hopped out of bed and made my way downstairs to start supper.

I got the pot out to start boiling water when he walked in the kitchen.

"Hey, Kiddo. Alice, always a pleasure."

Turning on the tap and letting the water flow in the pot I decided I might as well let my dad know what was going on.

"I told Alice about Damien."

Ever the conservationist, Charlie let out a grunt.

"She's coming with me to Arizona to meet him this weekend."

I glanced at him in time to see his mustache twitch. "I heard what happen, did you let Alice know about?"

I nodded. He was asking about James.

"You make sure to bring the papers back home with you. I want to take a good look over them." He said, shaking his finger at me.

"Yes, Dad. I was already planing on doing that."

He nodded content and went back to the living room.

"Did you want me to stay the night?" Alice asked as I broke the spaghetti noodles in two to put in the boiling water.

"I thought you had to pack?" I arched a brow at her.

"That can wait until tomorrow." She said, with a dramatic sigh.

My lip almost twitched in a smile.

After we ate supper we went to my room to watch a movie. Once that was done, I put my pj's on and was about to go to bed when Alice spoke up.

"I'm going to call Edward, to see how mad the rest of the gang is."

I nodded, yawning.

Tomorrow.

I would deal with them tomorrow.

* * *

><p><strong>Next update should be in a week or so. To all the new readers, hi! To my old ones, I hope you like the little changes.<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**The story will go on without a beta until I find one.  
><strong>

* * *

><p>Edward P.O.V<p>

"Where is it?" I asked for the third time.

"I don't know."

My first connected with his nose. I smirked hearing the familiar crunch it made once it broke.

"Still don't know?" I said, coking my brow.

Lance moaned from the chair he was tied in. If he didn't talk, his knee caps would be next. I looked down at my watch and gritted my teeth, it was already six. If I wasn't at the skate park in time, Alice would bust my balls. A few more minutes of silence I grew impatient, I walked over to the little table in the corner of the room and grabbed the bat.

Glancing back, I was satisfied to see the fear in the boys eyes. He was one of my runners and was short when payday came. We couldn't be lenient with that shit, not with the stuff we were pushing. I lifted the bat and in one swift movement his left kneecap popped.

"Okay!" he screamed.

I crouched down to his level.

"Garry took it, he gambled- "

"Why the fuck would you let Garry take two k's?" I asked annoyed.

Garry used to be one of my lower runners. Pushing some weed here and there, I felt off and didn't like the way he dealt with it. Sure, it's only weed but you don't need to let every fucking body know you're selling it. There's gotta some discretion with that shit.

"He promised he'd have it by the time I needed to pay you."

I pinched the bridge of my nose, that's another reason why I didn't trust Garry. He was unreliable and his word was shit.

"Look." I leaned back in my chair. "I never had a problem with you, this," I pointed my fingers between us. "Is nothing personal, only business. I can't have people owing us money. What would that look like? They'd think the family was going soft."

Lance shook his head in understanding.

"I'm giving you 24 hours to pay up. You can get your next shipment of Billie hoke tonight."

I untied him. "I'll get Steve to drive you to the hospital. Say you fell of that bike of yours."

"Thanks." He muttered, rolling his shoulders.

I nodded before leaving the basement and going to find Steve. He was in the living room, watching TV.

"Hey, Boss." He jerked his head.

"I need you to bring Lance to the hospital."

Steve nodded, before turning back to his show.

I let out a chuckle when I got outside. The bastard knew to leave Lance in the basement for a bit to let things sink in. He was only lucky Carlise wasn't working tonight. That would of brought on too many question's and the last thing I needed was daddy-o up my ass.

My eyes flickered back to the safe house when I pulled our of the driveway. This is were we came to take care of business. It was on the outskirts of town so no one could snoop or hear what was going on. Carlisle owed it and him being the prestige doctor he is kept the cops from sniffing around. I snorted, the man was anything but innocent.

I was nearing the skate park when my phone rang.

"Cullen."

"Hey, Baby." came the sultry response.

"Gianna, how are you?"

"Good, in town for a couple days. I miss you."

I gritted my teeth. Gianna was one of the best lays I've had, the shit that girl came up with in bed was out of this world. I looked at the clock it was 6:30.

"I can't meet up, I've got some things I need to do. Maybe later?"

"I was hoping for a quicky, I have a meeting in a couple hours." I could hear the pout in her voice.

She was in town for business, and by meeting I knew she meant Carlisle. She took care of some stuff back in Seattle for him.

"I can't right now."

"Okay. Maybe tomorrow."

The line went dead.

I parked beside Em and Jay's car when I got to the skate park. I didn't notice Alice's car and felt a pang of irritation. This was Swan's Idea, and she wasn't here early?

I spotted the gang at one of the benches.

"Yo." I said, jerking my chin in their direction.

"Have you heard from your sister?" Rose asked, piking her nails.

"No." I took out a smoke and lit it.

"Bella's normally the first one to show up to these things." Jasper stated.

Em nodded, looking bored.

My phone rang again.

"Cullen."

"Hey, Edward." Came my sisters voice.

"Why aren't you guys here already?"

"Okay, here's the deal. Me and Bella aren't going tonight."

I blinked. "Excuse me?"

I looked at the gang. "They aren't coming."

Rose started yelling as soon as the words left my mouth. "Calm the fuck down." I said, pointing my finger at her.

"Alice, you better hope for your sake that you're joking right now."

I canceled getting laid for this?

"You know what? Go fuck yourself, you don't even know what's going on!"

"Please, enlighten me." I said sarcastically. "You know what? Put Swan on the phone."

" No, you may not talk to her. I know you, you're only going to bitch, and I'm telling you right now deal with it. We aren't going."

"Watch your mouth." and I hung up.

I went through my contacts and dialed Swan's number, a couple rings in it went to voice mail.

"What's going on?" Em asked.

"Those bitches better not bail on me." Rose muttered.

I shrugged my shoulders, dialing the number again.

"What do you want, Edward?"

"Why is my sister calling me to tell me you guys can't make it?"

"Sorry... Things came up ... "

"Things came up? I'm sure whatever it is can wait till after Newton's."

I was beyond pissed at this point.

"No, it cant. I apologize that this was last minute but I really have to go."

"This was your idea, and now you're not coming? I canceled on... "

I cursed under my breath at the slip I almost had. I waited for a response and looked back at my phone. She hung up on me. The bitch fucking hung up on me.

"Fuck this, I'm out."

I left without further explanation, they want to know what's going on, they can call them. I needed to relieve some tension and I'll be dammed if I have to use my hand to do it.

* * *

><p>Billie hoke - coke<p>

**I figured I would post E's P.O.V to this chapter so you guys can get a feel of what's going on with him.**

**Yes, his family's in the mob.**

**No, no one knows about it. Not even his twin Alice. You'll understand more as the story progresses.  
><strong>


	5. Chapter 5

Bella P.O.V

I groaned when I heard my alarm clock go off. Today was one of the days I would go for a run before school, I rolled over after pressing snooze, I didn't quite feel like getting up yet.

I was about to doze off again when...

_Aye it's eminem , this is your motha fucking wake up call now, WAKE UP!_

I sighed grabbing my phone from the night table and pressed snooze.

"You have eminem as your wake-up call?" someone muffled beside me.

I jumped, forgetting that I wasn't alone in bed.

"Yes, I do. Now, I'm going for my morning run. I'll wake you when I get back."

"You run?" I heard her sigh. "The only time a girl should be subjected to running is when there's a sale for clothes or some cute shoes." She mumbled in her pillow.

I giggled getting out of bed.

~*~

Freshly clothed in my running gear, I put my ear buds in, a couple seconds later Korn's Alone I break drummed through my ears. I put my bottle of water on the porch step and started doing my stretches. Five minutes later and the fresh air had succeeded in waking my ass up.

Picking my bottle up, I started jogging down the street at my normal pace. I had a lot of things to think about this morning.

I knew once we got to school the gang would be mad, they probably wouldn't talk to me for a couple days, but there isn't much I could do about it. Jasper wouldn't get in the middle since he's Alice's boyfriend, for that I was thankful. I'm always the first to show up to these events, always the first to give a helping hand when they're in a chrisist.

The one time I cancel, and they'll lose their shit, I can feel it.

Closing in on the park I decided to run the trail instead of turning around and going back home like I normally would.

On a brighter note, Alice finally knew. I didn't have to carry this burden alone. Sure, Charlie also knew what happened, but I sure as hell didn't want to talk to him about it. He knew the basics, and that I was dealing with it in my own way. I would eventually have to confide in Jasper about this also, I couldn't expect her to keep something this big from him.

I stopped dead in my tracks.

"Mother fucker." I muttered to myself.

She's always been close to Edward, those two had no secret. It was one of those crazy twin vibes they had going on. One always knew if the other was hiding something.

I groaned turning around and heading back home.

Before I went into details about what was going on, I needed to make a hundred percent sure she'd keep her mouth shut. The last thing I needed was for Edward to know about this. I knew we weren't close or anything, but he would probably feel the need to do something about this.

I pushed myself harder the closer I got home. I've been tense ever since my mother told me I had to go back to court. I wasn't ready to face James. It's not that I was scared of him, I didn't want to open Pandora's box. I had no idea how to feel about this whole situation. Wouldn't normal people be crying, or something? Maybe that's when the flood gates will open. Maybe I need to see him again, to make it real. I shivered thinking of the last time I saw him.

_Flashback_

_"How does the jury find the defendant."_

_ "Guilty" _

_I jumped out of my seat and gave my mom a big hug. I was crying , happy tears._

_"Oh, baby. I'm so happy " _

_I turned around to look at James and noticed they would be passing right in front of us since we were in the first row. The color drained from my face once my eyes locked with his cold stare. I've come to know that look, it was the one he had before he stabbed me. I held my moms hand tighter when they passed in front of me. James shrugged out of the cops hold and leaned over me._

_"You're going to pay for this, Isabella." He whispered in my ear._

_"Move it." The cop barked at him, shoving him in the back._

_End flashback _

~*~*

Once I was out of the shower I put on my favorite sweater and pants. I was about to put my accessories on when I notices Alice glaring at me. Or more like my shirt, I should say.

"What?" I asked annoyed.

Her nostrils flared as she kept looking at my shirt. "What is that!"

I look down confused. "It's a shirt, Alice. Chill."

She walked up to me, flicking one of the zippers that was on the front of my sweater.

Her eyes flicker to my back. "Where's the hood?" She asked in disbelief.

I blink. "There isn't one."

She started shaking her head. "No, no, no. This won't work." She looked at the front of the shirt again in disgust.

"Look, I don't care if you don't like my shirt. I'm not changing." I snapped. Who the hell did she think she was?

Her eyes snapped to my own as she glared at me. "I refuse to go to school with you looking like that. Zig zag zippers at the front of your shirt? Really? And no hood?"

I narrowed my eyes at her and went to walk out of the room before she fisted the sweater and made me sit on my bed. For something so small, she was scarily strong.

"Take it off."

"No,"

"Now." She barked, putting her hand out.

I rolled my eyes, knowing I wouldn't win this battle. Once my sweater was off I threw it at her and stomped to my closet. I grabbed the first thing I saw and put it on.

"Stupid Pixie Bitch." I muttered to myself, looking myself over the mirror. I put my hair in a ponytail and went downstairs.

Once I made a lunch for me and Alice, I walked outside to wait for her. Looking down at my watch I noticed we would be late fir first period if we didn't leave soon. I was about to go back in the house to look for her when the faint smell of smoke hit my nostrils. I jumped off the porch and jogged to the backyard.

She wouldn't.

Once I rounded the corner of the house I noticed that yes, she would. Alice was stirring our fire barrel with a crazed look in her eye.

"Burn, baby, burn."

"Alice." I approached her cautiously.

She looked at me letting out an eerie laugh. "No more ugly shirt for you, B."

Once I got the her I patted her on the shoulder. "It's okay, Al. The shirts gone."

I glanced in the fire to see what was left of my sweater. Which wasn't much.

"C'mon." I cooed. "We're going to be late for school."

Alice let out a deep breath and nodded, before heading to her car.

Note to Self.

Don't fuck with Alice. 

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><p>This is only half the chapter, I'm sorry for the slow update.. I'll replace this chapter with the full one in the next couple days.<p> 


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